Faith Infiltration: Concord Baptist and South County Baptist
This morning my guy and I had the pleasure of infiltrating services at Concord Baptist Church and South County Baptist church, both in South County. My guy and I have been infiltrating different churches each Sunday. So far we've visited Oak Hill Presbyterian and the two churches mentioned. We plan on infiltrating a different church each Sunday until we get bored with it.
Concord Baptist is such a "contemporary" church that they don't even have crosses on the stained glass windows, or pews, for that matter - instead, they have cushy auditorium seats with armrests. The pastor harped on the fact that as Christians, the congregation members might face persecution for "accepting Jesus as your savior"
Why is it that Christians feel as though they are being persecuted? Would an example of this persecution be that both presidential candidates are always playing to the wants and desires of Christians? Is it because there are only 2.1 billion of them in the world?
Heads up - if you think you are being persecuted, try being an atheist. America's most distrusted minority, bitches!
The pastor mentioned that people are losing their jobs because they are Christian, and people (in other countries...) are being killed due to being Christian. I have a feeling that any slaughtering of Christians in other countries is motivated by religious hatred and bigotry. Obviously, killing someone due to their beliefs is wrong - the religious are typically the ones doing the killing. I know you think your invisible Sky Daddy is better than that other dude's invisible Sky Daddy, but do you really need to kill him for it?
After attending services at Concord, we drove by South county Baptist church and LO, they were having a "revival" service, starting in five minutes! So we decided to infiltrate there too.
My Guy has been to several revival services (he was raised Southern Fundamentalist Baptist) but I had never been to one. I honestly had no idea what a "revival" was. I still really don't get it. Instead of having the typical pastor, they had a guest pastor. After baptizing a five year old (can a five year old really understand what it means to be Christian? I felt kind of bad for her - her parents were so proud, and she obviously wanted to please them), a guest pastor came out.
His name is Jim McNiel... He was a whirlwind. He was like a combination of televangelist and street preacher - he even screamed out, "JEEEEEEEEsus!!!" He retold the story of the crucifixion complete with different voices for the different characters - graveling booming voice for Pontius Pilate, magnificent and righteous voice for Jesus. He moved all over the stage, acting out the story as if he were possessed by... umm... I guess the Holy Spirit.
When he got to the part in the story where Jesus was crucified, the preacher held his arms out to the side dramatically, his microphone dangling. and then he screamed,
"AND JESUS SAID!... GLURGLE GLURG Glurg sphttthhhh blarghhh....."
More true words were never spoken.
I could not take it. I began giggling. I tried to hide it. Did that guy REALLY just do that? He did it again...
"JESUS SAID.... slhittttglublee gluuuuurch plitooooo blargh...."
Tears were streaming down my face, I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud. My Guy looked over at me and covered his mouth. We were both shaking in our attempts to not laugh. I looked at the exit sign and thought, "exit exit exit exit exit" to try to stifle my laughter.
"and then he died."
I wonder if the people behind us believed they had discovered two of Satan's minions in their midst.
On the guest cards you fill out and give to the church on your way out we wrote, "Thanks for reaffirming our belief that there is NO god, and that faith is dangerous to the intellect"
Concord Baptist is such a "contemporary" church that they don't even have crosses on the stained glass windows, or pews, for that matter - instead, they have cushy auditorium seats with armrests. The pastor harped on the fact that as Christians, the congregation members might face persecution for "accepting Jesus as your savior"
Why is it that Christians feel as though they are being persecuted? Would an example of this persecution be that both presidential candidates are always playing to the wants and desires of Christians? Is it because there are only 2.1 billion of them in the world?
Heads up - if you think you are being persecuted, try being an atheist. America's most distrusted minority, bitches!The pastor mentioned that people are losing their jobs because they are Christian, and people (in other countries...) are being killed due to being Christian. I have a feeling that any slaughtering of Christians in other countries is motivated by religious hatred and bigotry. Obviously, killing someone due to their beliefs is wrong - the religious are typically the ones doing the killing. I know you think your invisible Sky Daddy is better than that other dude's invisible Sky Daddy, but do you really need to kill him for it?
After attending services at Concord, we drove by South county Baptist church and LO, they were having a "revival" service, starting in five minutes! So we decided to infiltrate there too.
My Guy has been to several revival services (he was raised Southern Fundamentalist Baptist) but I had never been to one. I honestly had no idea what a "revival" was. I still really don't get it. Instead of having the typical pastor, they had a guest pastor. After baptizing a five year old (can a five year old really understand what it means to be Christian? I felt kind of bad for her - her parents were so proud, and she obviously wanted to please them), a guest pastor came out.
His name is Jim McNiel... He was a whirlwind. He was like a combination of televangelist and street preacher - he even screamed out, "JEEEEEEEEsus!!!" He retold the story of the crucifixion complete with different voices for the different characters - graveling booming voice for Pontius Pilate, magnificent and righteous voice for Jesus. He moved all over the stage, acting out the story as if he were possessed by... umm... I guess the Holy Spirit.
When he got to the part in the story where Jesus was crucified, the preacher held his arms out to the side dramatically, his microphone dangling. and then he screamed,
"AND JESUS SAID!... GLURGLE GLURG Glurg sphttthhhh blarghhh....."
More true words were never spoken.
I could not take it. I began giggling. I tried to hide it. Did that guy REALLY just do that? He did it again...
"JESUS SAID.... slhittttglublee gluuuuurch plitooooo blargh...."
Tears were streaming down my face, I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud. My Guy looked over at me and covered his mouth. We were both shaking in our attempts to not laugh. I looked at the exit sign and thought, "exit exit exit exit exit" to try to stifle my laughter.
"and then he died."
I wonder if the people behind us believed they had discovered two of Satan's minions in their midst.
On the guest cards you fill out and give to the church on your way out we wrote, "Thanks for reaffirming our belief that there is NO god, and that faith is dangerous to the intellect"
Labels: atheism, faith infiltration
posted by Ziztur
at
2:08 PM
6 Comments:
"Jesus said....wtf????"
please please PLEASE infiltrate a scientology "mass" for me.
HAHAHA WELL, YOU SEE..
PEOPLE WHOS SMART AND KNOWS ABOUT LIFE THEY ARE ALL CHRISTIANS.
AND YOU OTHER "PEOPLE" YOUR JUST...
HAHAHA FUNNY...
NOW GO AND GET YOU A NEW LIFE.
OR,, UHUM, I MEAN.. BRAIN
Clearly then, anonymous, you must not be a christian.
It seems kind of hypocritical to complain about Christian's being persecuted, and then say atheists are America's most distrusted minority. Given that there were those who tried to claim Obama was Muslim as part of a smear campaign- that being called a Muslim even qualifies as a smear campaign- probably indicates more people distrust Muslim over atheists.
It's not hypocritical at all. On the one hand, we have someone complaining of being persecuted when they are the majority, and on the other hand, we have people complaining that they are being persecuted because they are actually being persecuted.
Atheists ARE America's most distrusted minority. Christians claim they are being persecuted when they aren't, while atheists claim they are the most distrusted minority - and we are. See the difference?
Yes, people tried to claim Obama was a Muslim as a smear campaign. Did you miss when people also tried to claim Obama was an atheist as a smear campaign?
So in both cases, people tried to claim Obama was a Muslim and an atheist as a smear campaign.
This hints at Muslims and atheists both being distrusted minorities. Studies from different polls show that atheists and Muslims rank at #1(atheists) and #2(Muslims) for "person I would be least likely to vote for as president" and "person I would least like my child to marry" and "Person who does not share my vision of American society"
Not to be rude, but five minutes of research on atheists being the most distrusted minority would have done you well.
References to back me up:
http://www.asanet.org/cs/root/topnav/press/atheists_are_distrusted
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=1786422&page=1
http://atheism.about.com/od/atheistbigotryprejudice/a/AtheitsHated.htm
http://religiousfreaks.com/2007/02/06/atheists-under-attack-on-cnn/
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