Each week, Flimsy and I (along with some other local friends, like Alien) and I visit a church. This week marks our 21st church. We chronicle the general atmosphere of the churches we visit, talk about notable things we hear in sermons, and give our overall impression of the places we've been.
Occasionally, we skip out due to laziness or other plans, but we've been pretty regular in attendance, which is probably more than a lot of church goers can say! We've collected lots of experiences, some random trinkets like mugs and stuff, and we've even been
counter-infiltrated by pastors of the churches we've been to.
This week, we went to the Easter Sunday service at
Faith Church St. Louis, a non-denominational church who prides themselves in their message of their god's love, rather than their god's wrath.
We found Faith Church while driving over to St. Charles one day - they have two locations, and we passed one on the highway and gawked at how huge and impressive it was - I think they leased a former country dancing club. Our friend Alien wanted to join us, so we decided to go to the one closer to her.
We entered the church sanctuary and noticed huge LCD screens at either side, crosses at the front, and plush chairs instead of pews. A screen saver counted down the time until the service was to begin, which was only a few seconds. We sat, noting that the sanctuary had pretty much become standing-room only.
I overheard a lady talking, and she said something to this effect, "Wow, look at how full we are this week. Everyone is here. It's amazing how so many people only show up on Christmas and Easter". I suppose I wasn't surprised to hear something so stereotypical come out of someone's mouth, so I guess what they say is true - some people are only Christian on Christmas and Easter. The lights dimmed slowly, leaving the sanctuary almost in complete darkness.
We were sitting in the back, just a few seats to the left of center, and we saw a man roll in what looked like an upside-down white trash can on wheels with a green light inside and some water on top, as if it had been out in the rain. The band began to play uplifting, energetic contemporary Christian rock music. The upside-down can was a drum, and while the man drummed it, water jumped in the air. This reminded me of
Blue Man Group, and was actually a pretty cool effect, except that the congregants closest to the drum got splattered with water droplets.
Obviously, the music was meant to evoke feelings of being uplifted, of being exited. The first song ended with a burst of musical energy, and then the LCD screens lit up and showed - surprisingly - scenes from The Passion of the Christ. They chose to use the scene where Jesus is on the cross, and a drop of water falls to the ground, causing the earth to shake, and all sorts of crazy stuff to happen. Sanctuary-shaking bass rumbled through the air. I felt like we were at the movies and really - well - we were.
The Passion faded away, replaced by an uplifting but softer solo, where a heavily tattooed woman danced around in a white dress with white streamers. After this, an energetic solo by a male vocalist ended with a bunch of children on stage jumping around in a massive cloud of bubbles, while older children and young adults waved streamers. The children and soloist left, and another song began. This time, during the song, people came out and pinned roughly-torn sheets of paper directly to the cross situated at the center. On the sheets of paper words were typed, words like: divorce, fear, pride, hopelessness, unforgiveness, alcohol, low self-esteem, lust, gossip, depression, shame, loneliness, lack, pressure, offense, greed, mental torment, sin, disease, poverty, pornography, stress, etc. The metaphor being, of course, that all of these things are being washed away by the blood of Jesus. The music faded and the pastor arrived.

The pastor, I swear, looks and sounds like
Billy Ray Cyrus. He led the congregants in a quick prayer, saying, "all eyes closed all heads bowed". He then told his congregation that he doesn't like being a televangelist, so hey, go ahead and tithe during the announcements if you want.
All of the announcements were played over the LCD screens and were well-produced and extraordinarily hip. Apparently this church has a hip youth group, a contest for kids to win a
dune buggy (yes, a real dune buggy - they had it on display outside the church), a really hip children's event during which, among other things, they will be giving away an X-Box 360, a group for young adults that is just freakishly cool, and a group for girls that is all about "Setting the world on fire!"
If you go check out their website, you'll see exactly what I mean - the stylishness of their website oozes over into the church itself. Obviously, they are trying to appeal to contemporary secular culture - the whole thing was very urban.
The fact that tithing was done during the announcements is an interesting contrast to the churches we have been to that make a big deal out of tithing, giving it five minutes of prayer and a special song. Instead of using guilt and peer-pressure to make you tithe, they went with the, "holy crap, this church is doing all of this cool stuff, you know you wanna support our awesomeness so we can keep being awesome" tactic. I guess it works, because this church obviously has tons of support.
So, right as everyone is supposed to feel good about tithing and good about how urban, hip and contemporary this church is, Pastor Dave launches into his sermon. He talks about how when he was a little boy, his parents didn't have a lot of money. Near Easter, his was at Wal-Mart with his mom, and his mom couldn't afford to buy him a chocolate bunny. But, he saw a bunny with a broken ear and a 50% off sticker on it. He ran to tell his mom and begged her for the cheap, broken bunny. She agreed, and they went back to find the bunny, but someone had taken it.
I'll assume that in Fenton, MO, where this church is located, a lot of people can relate to this. Hell,
I can relate to this. While I was growing up, nearly all of my possessions came from yard sales, my mom coupon-clipped until she had blisters on her hands, and we would get slightly damaged or old Easter candy too. Anyway, Pastor Dave tells his congregation that his mom was "trained in sin", and so she gave him a look and told him, "well... you
could break another ear..." and so, of course, Pastor Dave, being a little boy, broke a whole row of bunny ears, and the next day they came back and he got his broken bunny.
The point: without Jesus, your life is broken just like the bunny ears. When you're "trained in sin", you need Jesus to help you pay the price for wholeness.
He goes on to talk about how the wages of sin are death - but in a slightly less literal sense. He spoke not of actual mortal death but of death of family, marriage, happiness, etc. Of course Jesus never sinned but became sin itself so that we (never being righteous) could become righteous. I know these are the basic tenants of Christianity and even though they were presented in a more palpable way than I have heard before, they still don't make any sense. Once again: the Christian god supposedly creates all of us in sin. Then, he is thinking about how all of those people created in his image are imperfect sinners, and decides we all deserve eternal torment in life and in death for being so imperfect. but, he realizes this is not fair, and so he sends himself down to earth to sacrifice himself to himself so that he doesn't have to torment us in life and in death, but with one stipulation - we have to believe that he sent himself down to save us from himself and we have to repent our sins in order to be saved, because otherwise we're getting a free ride, and that doesn't make sense. But the whole thing doesn't make sense! Anyway, moving on...
Right as his congregation is supposed to be nodding their heads in understanding of how exactly to be saved, he tells a story of a kid whose funeral he had recently been to. This kid apparently was into drugs and suffering from depression, but some members of his congregation had been bringing him to church. The pastor told of how the kid had accepted Jesus and become a Christian. A few weeks later, he killed himself. The pastor talked about how this kid had been declared righteous in the eyes of his god and so thus was in heaven now. The point: be compelled to find troubled people in your life and bring them to church so they can be saved.
Pastor Dave then tells another story about a different pastor doing an internship at a mental institution. In the institution was a lady who was totally crazy and had to be constantly retrained in order to keep her from hurting people. Apparently the pastor went in, sat down, and sang "yes, Jesus loves me" for three months. After this, eventually the woman started signing with him, she became totally healed and went on to live a normal life.
Really.
I hate to be cynical but.. really? If this woman was in a mental hospital, she had to have been given care other than this. The nurses did nothing? Her psychologist did nothing? This was her only treatment, some guy coming in and singing a song to her over and over again? Evidence please. Case study, please. I found a similar story about a guy named
Robert Cornwall here, near the bottom of the page. It's so funny how stories morph and change when passed along orally.
A few more things:
* The devil is the one who has all those tapes of your life to be played on judgment day.
*Faith and belief
erases those tapes of your sin
*Other preachers like to preach that "god is mad" at you, but Pastor Dave wants you to know that his god isn't mad at you.
The point: even though you do bad things and sin, the Christian god is not mad at you for it, and your belief in Jesus will erase all of your sins so that god doesn't see them when reviewing the events of your life. This sounds like the same stuff Ray Comfort says, only Pastor Dave phrases it in a way that is much more palpable. But, the problem still remains. Why be good, if you know your belief will acquit you from wrongdoing? How is this way of thinking a superior reason to be moral, rather than humanist morality? It seems to me that this sermon was designed to rid people of their guilt and fear for sinning, by letting them know that their god will not see their sins as long as they believe. But when you do bad things, you should feel guilty - an appropriate sense of guilt is a powerful tool, and many a sociopath feels no guilt. I am not at all saying that this way of thinking necessarily leads to sociopathy, but it surely does not seem superior to humanist morality as far as giving people reasons to act in a moral and ethical way.
The service ended with uplifting music in which the themes were winning wars and conquering enemies. So, the congregation is supposed to feel uplifted, as though they've won the battle against sin... for now.
Labels: atheism, blasphemy, culture, ethics, faith infiltration, local