Swamped

Okay, so I'll admit it: I am freaking SWAMPED with busy right now! I am:

1. Studying for the rather intimidating NBCOT (National Board of Certification in Occupational Therapy) exam, so I can become a registered occupational therapist. This exam costs $500 to take, and if you fail, you have to pay again and wait 45 days before you can have another go at it.
   
2. Studying for my new job. I have to do a lot of training, and all of it is online, long, and involves taking tests over the material.
   
3. A fellow skeptic Zi Wang and I wrote this 2-3 hour workshop over divination with dowsing rods and pendulums. We're giving the workshop in a few hours. A friend of mine who is a budding director is going to videotape much of it to make a little promotional video, and it's expected that we will be giving workshops like it all over the country in little skeptic hubs.
   
4. I think I have writer's block or something! I think this happens to everyone who blogs at some point.
   
5. I've got some somewhat bizarre things going on in my personal life, unrelated to skepticism.
   
6. Flimsy and I are planning for our wedding!
   
7. I've got an interview for another job position.
   
8. I submitted the revisions of my manuscript (of my biomechanics research) to the journal.
   

One of the things surely on my mind is that if I write blog posts, I will be taking away time for something else, especially studying for this big scary exam. So this is why the blog posts have trickled down to almost nothing lately. Sorry guys!

Borba Skin Skeptic

The other day I was at Walgreens with Flimsy when I passed the section of open-air refrigerated drinks and became puzzled as to why an employee would accidentally shelve shampoo or body wash alongside Mountain Dew and Arizona Tea.

Upon closer examination, I realized that the shampoo-like bottle that had caught my eye was not in fact shampoo, but some kind of drink. Obviously, this is exactly the kind of thing that the makers of Borba Skin Balance Water want to happen, and I will shamefully admit that I totally fell for their unusual packaging – square with a square cup on top, clean simplistic labeling, and a certain opaqueness to the plastic bottle as to almost make the inner contents glow. Whoever designed this packaging is clearly brilliant.

Borba Skin Balance Water, at $2.99 a bottle, hurts your wallet like many other bottled drinks. I grabbed the Guanabana Fruit – Firming bottle, which reads on the front "Designed to promote skin's natural Smoothness * Elasticity * Nourishment"

The side reads, "HEALTHY SKIN FROM WITHIN BORBA SKIN BALANCE WATER FIRMING contains a revolutionary cultivated bio-vitamin complex along with a scientifically designed blend of nutrients intended to promote the skin's natural support system, helping to nourish and tone the skin. BORBA SKIN BALANCE WATER is formulated to work with your body's chemistry to promote healthy skin. This on-the-go, skin-care infused beverage combines simplicity and nutrition with the goodness of water. It's water with benefits."

"FIRMING – GUANABANA: the guanabana fruit, native to the Caribbean and South America, is known for its rich, aromatic flavor and nourishing benefits. Guanabana contains a healthful blend of nutrients, intended to promote more beautiful skin."

More text explains that it has "4 essential b-vitamins" that it is "infused with green tea and grape seed extract", that you can drink it daily to "enhance skin care from within", and that you can alternate it with the other flavors for "multiple skin care benefits".

On the other side, it says that it is calorie free, aspartame free, has no preservatives, 0 grams of carbs, is free of sodium, and has natural flavorings. A message from Scott-Vincent Borba reads, "There's more beauty within you. It lies in wait, on the other side of your skin. Borba Skin Balance Water activates your beauty while hydrating your body, bringing the natural attraction of your skin to the attention of the world. You're just a sip away from a more gorgeous you.

So, I'm skeptical that this drink could improve my skin and dude, what do you mean, "It's water with benefits?" It's as if the writer of this label were claiming water had no benefits unless it has vitamins in it. Unfortunately, the bottle only makes rather vague claims about what the contents are capable of doing. They don't mention any clinical proof, so I can't email them and ask for said proof. Darn! There is a great article in the NY Times about Borba – published back when Borba made specific claims about their elixirs. At one time, bottles of FIRMING claimed it was "scientifically proven to improve elasticity by an average of 24 percent." The NY Times article also cites some specific information on the independent studies, stating that they are available on the Borba website. I can't find them, though. If there were good research proving that this product made your skin prettier, it would be wise to promote it.


My opinion with skin supplements is the same as with any other supplement - as far as I am aware, your body likes to maintain homeostasis and so if you have an excess of a particular vitamin, you simply pee it out, just like if you have an excess of water. If you have too little of a vitamin, then you have a clinical deficiency. Most people don't have vitamin deficiencies, so most people won't really benefit from 500% of your daily value of Vitamin B-12. 


At least it tastes okay and comes in an amusing package, I guess.

CFI report

So today is the end of my second day at CFI. My brian is a little burned out at the moment, primarily due to lack of sleep (it's odd sleeping in a house by yourself when you're accustomed to sleeping in a shotgun apartment with 2 cats, 1 dog, and – most importantly – 1 Flimsyman.

My first day at CFI, I literally spent 8 hours talking with Joe Nickell on topics ranging from how unskeptical some atheists can be to how awesome it is when one comes across a rare bottle of "clairvoyant medicine" at an antique shop. We yammered at length about the ethics of investigation, and why skeptics need to avoid being armchair-ivory-towerists and actually get out into the world and participate actively in skepticism. Joe further convinced me that investigation should occur in the real world as much as possible.

Another thing we talked about at length is his Skeptiseum, and awesome, yet somehow sort of unknown – skeptical museum of the paranormal. The Skeptiseum features exhibits on alternative medicine, cryptozoology/mythical creatures, ghosts and spirits, miracles, pseudoscience, psychic phenomena, superstition, UFO's and aliens. In person, the Skeptiseum is a quirky collection of strange and mysterious items mixed in with a sizable collection of books in Joe's personal library. It's one of those things tucked away that I think needs more exposure.

My second day at CFI (today) was spent researching the holy grail relic the Sacro Catino. The Sacro Catino is a famous object preserved in Genoa, Italy, that has a spurious history. People at one time apparently believed it was carved of a large emerald, though most modern scholars believe it is merely glass. I'll assuredly write more about it later, but at the moment we're still trying to piece together a decent historical account of the thing.

Off to New York

The secret is out:

I am traveling to the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry (CSI, the guys who produce Skeptical Inquiry Magazine) for an internship!

Today!

Now, I am fully aware that this is a Skeptic's dream internship. I'll be hanging out with Joe Nickell and lots of other cool people.The goal is to learn how to do pseudoscience, paranormal, and fringe science research and investigations.

16 months ago when I started this blog, I had NO idea where it might take me. To CSI is one of those places. There are probably about 200 people I should thank for giving me the awesome opportunity to be more than just an armchair skeptic, so I'll just say thanks to everyone - you know who you are. 

Fear not, for I shall be blogging about my experiences at CSI. I'll also be bringing along my camera in the event that I come across some skeptical eyecandy. There are more interesting things in the works for the future, so keep checking back.

Er, I am no good

Hi!

My journal article came back from the editors and needs to be edited like right this second. Therefore, I have to work on it, but I promise I will get that second half of our Faith Infiltration soon - probably tomorrow! In the meantime, here's a special investigation by Nonstampcollector:

Wish you a skeptical new year

Last night I partied with about 15 St. Louis skeptics. In addition to typical skeptical conversation, recurring topics of the night:

1. Saint Gasoline's hair, especially the frequent occurrences of changes to said hair (facial and head)
   
2. The Pseudopenis. Did you know that some animals have a pseudo penis? Male and females of varying species have them, but most notably is the hyena, who uses her pseudopenis for urination, copulation, and giving birth. Hyenas are even able to make their pseudopenis erect. Damn.
   
3. Horny couch: A couch in the party house became the "horny couch" and had anywhere from 3-6 skeptics in a cuddle/petting pile on it most of the night.
   
4. Bookshelves, the IRS, healthcare, chiropractic, dowsing, psychology, morality, theft of animals, mid-twenties crisis.
   

These are the "safe" things I can talk about. What crazy stuff did you talk about at your New Years party?

Flimsy and I...

Flimsy and I are engaged.

He's taking my last name :)

So engagements mean weddings. As a couple of heathens, what do we do?

We considered:

1. going to the courthouse and just getting some lame papers.
2. Getting married under the osage orange tree in the middle of this park we go to at night all the time.
3. Having a big hugeass party and inviting everyone.

Too bad we're not famous enough to have Dan Barker officiate.

Oh and... he's taking my last name. 

Trust me, I’m a doctor.

Tomorrow is the last day if my internship. Today, my fieldwork instructor handed me a passing grade for my fieldwork.

As I was walking up to the second floor to make copies of my paperwork, I realized something.

Right then, at that moment, I became a holder of a doctoral degree in occupational therapy. I became a doctor.

Dr. Ziztur.

Okay, so Ziztur is not my real name, but you get the idea.

I could be like all of those silly creationists out there and flaunt my credentials. I think it is especially entertaining when they show off their doctoral degrees twice, or include their bachelor's degree, like this:

Dr. Ziztur, B.A., OTD.

Tomorrow, my grade will be recorded and it will be officially official. The funny thing is that this is not exactly like I imagined it. It did not happen all at once. I had a graduation ceremony in May, when all of my coursework was completed. It was all fanfare and grandiose but a symbol of something not yet conferred – that would not be conferred for another seven months.

I unofficially became a doctor when my fieldwork instructor signed off that I had passed my internship. I have completed all of my work, and all of my study required of me to attach that title to my name. I will never, ever stop learning, but I will officially be a doctor when the grade is recorded tomorrow. It happened in small steps, that's the way life works. It's not like when you finally get handed the keys to your new car, or you finally get married, or when you finally graduate high school.

Becoming a doctor was walking down the halls at the medical center to make a copy of your paperwork. Only, I think I walked a little taller.

Proof...

...That I occasionally hang out with people you want to hang out with:

(PZ Myers, me, D.J. Grothe)

(Rebecca Watson, me)

I also took this great pic of PZ, during a late night party in a hotel room:

I also have to share this picture of fellow blogger Saint Gasoline.

Skepticon and loyalty

Sorry that my posts died out for a few days – the truth is that I have been busy both working my a$$ off at my internship (in five weeks I will finish, and then I will be Doctor Ziztur). In addition to working my a$$ off, Flimsy and I have been scouring the St. Louis area for a house to buy, which will hopefully be large enough that we can use it as some kind of bizarre commune.

This weekend Saint Gasoline, The Alien, Flimsy and I went to Skepticon II, a skeptic/atheist conference held in Springfield, Mo. We had an absolute blast hanging out with Richard Carrier, PZ Myers, Rebecca Watson, D.J. Grothe, Dan Barker, and a bunch of other skeptics (including all the other St. Louis bloggers).

The four of us ended up partying late into the night with PZ, D.J., Richard, Rebecca, and a bunch of other awesome folks. In a semi-intoxicated (by skepticism, the late hours and some rum) state, I managed to snap some portraits in the dimly-lit motel room. As far as portraits go, they aren't amazing – but I think they are pretty good given the poor lighting.

I think my friend The Alien did the coolest thing of all – she used to think atheists were evil jackasses who did nothing more than undermine and condemn everyone around them. She was kind of afraid of atheists because once upon a time, someone who could best be described as an "atheist communist conspiracy theorist" was the only atheist she knew, and he treated her as though she were somehow less than human… for years. So what does she do? She goes to a conference where everyone is an atheist and ends up in a hotel room with famous authors and public figures of the movement – and she loved it! I don't know many people who are willing to open themselves up like that. People should be more like her.

About 2 years ago, Alien and I lived together, and we lived with someone who can best be described as a "communist conspiracy theorist atheist who was hell bent on destroying any and all belief, even to the detriment of other people." The Alien was mentally tortured by this individual, who would frequently direct words like, "stupid", "wrong", and "inhuman" at her. She and the communist conspiracy theorist atheist (CCTA) both paid rent to the owner of the house. The torment got so bad that CCTA and his girlfriend violated her personal property, going into her room to steal and throw away object if spiritual importance to her. CCTA may have been an atheist but he certainly was no skeptic. He was more of a contrarian or a denialist – 9/11 was an inside job, there was no lone gunman, the Masons are out to get us, the Jews are out to get us, the election was rigged, aluminum will kill you, vaccines cause autism, Big Pharma wants to keep you sick, GE crops are evil, etc.

Despite all of the seething hatred directed at her The Alien tried desperately to understand CCTA: "I made many, many attempts to understand his points of view. He made no attempt, and instead riled against any thoughts I had of my own." After finally finding the means to move out, she "wanted nothing to do with atheists." CCTA was the only atheist she knew, and he had tainted her perspective on atheists and atheism: "If he was what atheism was, I wanted no part of that. In fact, anyone who would dare question my beliefs who claimed to be an atheist, would have gotten screamed out of my subdivision. "

When I came out as an atheist, The Alien was heartbroken: "I was more than appalled. I felt betrayed by the person who knew me the most. She, becoming atheist, was like her telling me she was going to become exactly like [CCTA]. It put the largest wedge in our friendship than has ever been there before. I wasn't sure I could stand to be around her, as if she had been contaminated with this disease that turned people into...well, [CCTA].

She and I had a tough relationship for the next year or so. I tried to explain that not all atheists were like CCTA, but he had so contaminated her view of atheism that it was hard for her to believe. Her reaction was very much like people who have been told by the church that atheists are evil and immoral – when you meet a moral one, you believe that the immorality is hiding just underneath a thin veneer. But then things changed when The Alien invited me along to help her with a house painting job:

"I needed someone to work with me on a house and [Ziztur] was available to help. Somewhere during the first few days, she said she had something interesting to have me listen to. Okay, no problem - this happens quite frequently. I like interesting stuff and she knows what I would find interesting. Somewhere in those next few days… she had me listen to this podcast. It was Point of Inquiry. I had no idea what Point of Inquiry was, but the podcast was definitely interesting."

We ended up listening to POI for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week for several weeks. Later on, I introduced her to Skeptic's Guide to the Universe. At some point, I let the Alien know that POI and the other podcasts were all produced by atheists. She decided that though she had no desire to meet any of the people in the podcasts, they were cool and interesting.

Slowly, I began to introduce her to other people in my circle of godless friends. First, it was some people I was dating:

"I've never been so scared to enter a house, ever… I was adamant on not getting too deep in conversation with them lest they start questioning my beliefs and attacking them upon finding out I wasn't an atheist like them. While I ended up conversing with them, it did not go too deeply… At least they didn't mentally torture me with their conversation. Okay, some atheists are okay."

Skip ahead to a few months ago. The Alien uses me as her personal lending library, and at one point I convinced her to read a skeptical book. We started with Why People Believe Weird Things by Michael Shermer, and she eventually moved on to read books by Richard Dawkins, Mary Roach, Darrel Ray, and others. She worked up the nerve to attend atheist book clubs with me. She took my mp3 player (loaded with POI, SGU, and Quackcast) to Europe to feed her ears during long train rides.

"By this time, I'm starting to figure out that the intellectual conversation may just overpower my now deep fear of atheists. I took some tentative steps, checking out - gasp- other blogs than [Ziztur's] and the POI website."

Surprisingly, The Alien was off work last weekend. She had heard about Skepticon II from Skepchick.org, and dropped me a line, asking if she could come along. A few hours later, she was sitting in the car with me, Flimsy, and Saint Gasoline. She describes how she felt on the way to the con:

"Imagine a deep nervousness that keeps on being pushed down by the want for intellectual conversations sure to happen. Imagine being nervous at meeting people you've been listening to not long, but just long enough to feel like you're meeting someone famous. Imagine still being deeply nervous and still quite a bit fearful of the people who were SURE to ask you about your religious beliefs and question you when you still haven't worked out your stand on everything-in-the-known-world-much-less-yourself (see future posts on this) completely yet. You've probably gotten the picture."

"Imagine then fitting in better at this convention than fitting in ANYWHERE else ever in your life, even with groups of friends known for years. "

The Alien has a message:

"I must say it clearly to CCTA and the other demeaning atheists out there who use mental torture to wear down others. You, sir, do/did NOT help your cause in the slightest. Your strategy did NOT work and scared away someone who COULD have been someone on your side. Now before you think "wait, but it did", technically.... you're still wrong. It would have probably always come to [skepticism] (just by nature of my friend deciding for herself), and what you did was stop someone from becoming [a skeptic] for years longer than they probably would have. You did a disservice to your cause and I do not believe anyone should respect what you say given the way you go about proving your points…YOU are a DISGRACE TO ATHEISTS and ATHEISM and THEY DO NOT NEED YOU as an advocate."

The Alien is also one of those few skeptics out there who is not exactly an atheist – but she is a skeptic, a freethinker, a best friend, and she is beyond loyal, even going so far as to get in the car and go somewhere where she is in enemy territory – and instead of finding hostility, she found friends.

We fail at protesting.

The other day, Westboro Baptist Church (the God Hates Fags folks) were in my glorious town of St. Louis, to protest a memorial service for a soldier held at a high school, a Jewish all-male high school, and the local JCC.

We planned a counter-protest with several other groups, but among my friends hardly anyone got to actually protest.

Reason: Though Westboro posted the times in which they were protesting, they actually held their little half-hour protests about 45 minutes early. We think it is so they could hopefully beat the rush of people arriving to counter them.

In any event, I noticed something peculiar. Whenever Westboro was in the local news about these specific three protests (which occurred all in the same day, within a few hours of each other) the only protest mentioned by the media was the protest related to the soldier. There was an eerie silence concerning the other locations, as if the soldier's memorial service took up so much time that they felt it was not worth the airtime to mention the other locations. We could chalk this up to "protesting dead soldiers sells, protesting Jewish high school does not" but I really feel like people should care about both issues equally.

At the very least, my friend The Alien made up about 30 signs, went to the protest and simply threw them out in the grass for random people to pick up and use. She chose lots of cool quotes like, "One pair of hands working accomplishes more than a thousand hands praying". I was very proud.

Tiny Halloween Story

During the Halloween party at my internship, I was seated next to a group of people in a circular table, wearing a skeleton costume. Next to me sat a woman in a wheelchair with pipe-cleaners arranged artfully such that her wheelchair wheels looked like spider webs. Across from me sat a husband and wife. Both were not dressed "in costume", but the husband wore a pair of pants and a flannel shirt.

At some point, while we munched on pizza, Mr. NonCostume took several glances at my happy humanist pendant. He then asked, "Okay, what am I dressed as?"

I looked at him. I blinked. I opened my mouth to say something, thought about it, and then said, "Um.. I have no idea?" He stood, and asked if "that was better".

No. Not so much. Mr. Flannel-and-Jeans.

Finally, he exclaimed, "I'm a Jesus-Freak!" and shot me a wide grin.

I nodded, and said, "Oh!" not sure exactly how serious he was. Once he began talking to me earnestly about how much the lord had blessed him, I gathered that he may be serious. Shortly thereafter, he showed me he and his wife's matching wedding bands: they both had crosses on them. All the while, he shot passing glances at my little humanist.

Godless busses in St. Louis?

The other day I met with some people from the United Coalition of reason to discuss forming a coalition between all of the local skeptical/atheist/freethought/rationalist groups of St. Louis and surrounding cities. In addition to forming a coalition, we also talked about getting a bus ad campaign in St. Louis. I can't wait! We've already got a tiny billboard near St. Charles.

St. Louis is actually nearly overflowing with rational societies. Here's a more or less complete list (with links, if available!)

St. Louis Atheists

St. Louis Skeptical Society

Rationalist Society of St. Louis

St. Louis Ethical Society

Washington University League of Freethinkers

We're so busy that I've got several fun events and meetings to go to a month, and there are probably several per week that I cannot attend. If you're in St. Louis and unaware of the rationalist vibrancy here, you are missing out on an evolving culture of intellectual thought. Once we roll out our bus ads, you'd have to be living in a cave not to notice us.

You'll notice on the right sidebar that I have upcoming events at the local meetups I am involved in listed by date. Upcoming awesomeness include a talk by Victor Stenger and Skepticon II, a free conference on skepticism in Springfield, MO. We also hold Skeptics in the Pub once a month as a joint effort between the Center for Inquiry and the St. Louis Skeptical Society. Come out and join the fun!

P.S. I added a "local" label to my blog posts, for those of you looking for posts related to local interests.

Urban Health Fair Pt. 5

This will be my last post on a series of blog posts documenting my visit to the Urban Health Fair in St. Louis. Previous posts can be found here, here, here and here.

After getting a chiropractic scan and an acupuncture treatment, I headed over to a booth run by Colonics and Detox 4 Health, run by a woman who is a "Certified Sr. Wellness Coach", a "Certified Colon Hydrotherapist (advanced level)" and a "Certified Clinical Aromatherapist". They were having people get scanned with a device called the ZYTO Compass.

The ZYTO compass is a device in which people place their hand on a hand cradle attached to a computer, and the cradle measures galvanic skin response. It looks like this:

The device is said to measure "energy patterns" in the skin. I am skeptical. According to the flyer I picked up, it measures "76 bio-markers" in order to "indicate your body's preferences to help bring it back into a state of balance, and consequently, improved health". Apparently it looks for "supplements to bring every one of these bio-markers back into range". Here is what the company website says about the device:

Have you ever found it difficult to decide which nutritional supplements you should be taking or helping your customers make the same decision for themselves? Often times you're making your best guess based on how your customers are feeling or what they think they need. Wouldn't it be nice if you could ask their body what it preferred? With the Compass System you can.

The Compass System combines the power of dynamic changes in the electrical properties of the skin with ZYTO's Decision Support Technology software. ZYTO technology measures the fluctuations in the energy patterns of the skin. The primary feedback mechanism is called GSR or Galvanic Skin Response. When your customer places his or her hand on the Compass hand cradle, the ZYTO software sends stimuli to the body using digital signatures representative of various alternatives like nutritional supplements. Each stimulus creates a unique GSR response which the ZYTO software measures and analyzes. It's like asking the body questions about your nutritional products and listening to its answers.

When your customers place their hand on the Compass hand cradle, the state of the art Compass software uses stimulus-response to 'ask their body questions' about your nutritional products and then ranks their responses. Armed with this new information your customers feel more positive about the supplement choices they are about to purchase. Supplement Distributors using the Compass have shown astounding increases in monthly product sales.

I sat down, gave the computer my information, and then waited while the device scanned me. While I waited, pretty graphics flitted across the screen, telling me about the 76 bio-markers and explaining that the device would help me increase my wellness by bringing my body back into balance through the use of essential oils. It took about ten minutes for the device to scan. When it was finished, the computer produced a list of essential oils recommended to me by the Compass.

A woman approached me and let me know she was a certified clinical aromatherapist. She tried to explain to me that because the Compass kept recommending essential oils made from trees (elm, cedar, etc) that I must have some sort of structural problem. To really emphasize her point, she made a fist with her right hand and held her arm vertically while pressing it into her left hand – as if her arm were a tree trunk. She told me that she kept "doing this" (meaning making her arm look like a trunk) to really bring home the fact that my body was seeking stability. I looked at her blankly and told her I had no structural problems (really I do, but who – at 27 – has no "structural problems"?) To double-check the findings of the Compass, she brought over the Essential Oils Desk Reference, which looked remarkably like a clinical textbook. She went through some other essential oils she thought my body could use based on the readings of the Compass, asking if I had urinary tract infections, digestive problems or problems with circulation, but eventually sent me on my merry way.

According to the F.A.Q. the Compass uses, "quantum physics as well as established Galvanic Skin Response (GSR) technology to measure fluctuations in electrical conductivity of the skin." How does one use quantum physics to measure fluctuations in electrical conductivity in the skin? One needs no understanding of quantum physics to measure electrical resistance, which is what GSR measures. I guess since I measure kinetics of wheelchair propulsion, I can say I use biomechanics and quantum physics in my research.

Galvanic Skin Response (GSR) is basically a measure of electrical resistance through the skin. It measures how conducive the skin is between two measurement points. The skin's conductivity is highly effected by moisture and temperature – so readings of people with sweaty hands (like me) are going to be different than readings of someone with dry hands by virtue of moisture, and readings will be different depending on the temperature of the skin – which will obviously be effected by many things, including atmospheric conditions – how warm, cool, humid, or dry it is, among other things. GSR is used in polygraph tests, the theory being that stress tends to cause perspiration and raise skin temperature. There is no mechanism by which galvanic skin response could measure "bio-markers" or determine if you have an imbalance that can be corrected by the administration of essential oils. I did a Pubmed search on GSR's effectiveness as a diagnostic tool and found a study attempting to determine if GSR readings were diagnostically useful in allergy clients. The study showed that GSR was not useful. [1] GSR can be useful in the diagnosis of anxiety disorders or in nerve conduction disorders (such as MS), however.

The website indicates that research has been done, but (surprise!) gives no references to journal articles or the research. Instead it says, "Health professionals using ZYTO technology have performed hundreds of thousands of assessments worldwide and report excellent results. A recent hospital study showed a high correlation between the information provided by ZYTO's technology and the recommendations made by attending physicians". The site also claims that a study was done in China and is "set to be published in a peer reviewed journal". One of the more entertaining claims is this:

ZYTO technology involves information theory, biology, physics, and biofeedback. Each of these disciplines have several studies that validate the individual components that makes up the ZYTO technology. For example, there are several studies over the last century relating to GSR and its use in measuring the body's reaction to stimuli.

Yes, people have validated physics, biology, and information theory (biofeedback is up for debate). But this does not mean that these things have been validated for use in determining which essential oils you need to balance your body. I emailed the company asking for a reference. We will see what happens. A casual reader might take this sentence to mean that ZYTO scanners are used in hospitals. This is not what this sentence says – instead, it says that the "technology" ZYTO uses (meaning quantum physics and GSR) are used in hospitals, and there is a correlation between quantum physics and/or GSR information and physician recommendations. What I assume is that this: "A recent hospital study showed a high correlation between the information provided by ZYTO's technology and the recommendations made by attending physicians." Means that some hospital somewhere used GSR for some diagnostic purpose, and so therefore ZYTO feels it can claim GSR can be used to test for "imbalances". This is akin to a company staying since X-ray's have a high correlation between the information provided by the X-ray and recommendations made by physicians setting broken bones, that X-ray is useful in detecting Qi. I did a Pubmed search looking for instances in which "quantum physics" was used as a diagnostic tool and found nothing, aside from discussions of the physics of radiography.

ZYTO insists that their device is not a "medical device" which is why it is not FDA approved. Here is the FDA definition of a medical device:

..an instrument, apparatus, implement, machine, contrivance, implant, in vitro reagent, or other similar or related article, including a component part, or accessory which is . . . .

• intended for use in the diagnosis of disease or other conditions, or in the cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease, in man or other animals, or
  
• intended to affect the structure or any function of the body of man or other animals, and which [is not a drug].
  

ZYTO has this explanation for why their device does not count as a medical device:

We often compare our technology to the clipboard, pen, and printed health history form that a doctor gives a new patient. These are tools used to gather information about the patient. The completed health history has significant clinical value, but that does not mean the clipboard, pen, and printed form are medical devices.

Although information gathered with ZYTO technology can have significant clinical value, that information is simply another form of questionnaire (called a bio-survey) and ZYTO technology is simply the tool used for 'filling in the form.'

Yes, but an X-ray, CT scanner, PET scanner and an MRI are tools used to gather information about a patient, and those are considered medical devices. By this argument, we should deregulate these devices, as they are simply a tool used for "'filling in the form'". How is the Compass any different, aside from the fact that there is no evidence that it works?

It clearly is an instrument, and while it may not be diagnosing a disease, it could be said to be mitigating or treating disease. This is especially true if an individual is said "structural problems" according to the device and is then sold an essential oil to prevent osteoporosis. To say that no diagnosis is being made when one is giving a label to a medical condition or disease is kind of like a Southern Baptist minister insisting he is not religious. Using mealy-mouthed words like "preference" "decisions" and "imbalance" should not make a device immune to FDA approval, especially when statements like this (from the flyer) are made:

ZYTO Technology is used by more than 5,000 doctors and health care providers to make decisions on the health care needs of their clients with 95% proven accuracy.

I wondered if, taking the scan again, the results would be the same or different – if the results were consistent, at least the Compass might have something going for it. Alas, the F.A.Q. tells a different story:

ZYTO technology measures the most rapidly changing field in the body, the energetic field, which processes 400 million impulses of information per second. When dealing with complex mind-body systems, repeatable measurements are not always expected. However, in most instances successive bio-surveys will produce comparative results; each bio-survey will present a picture that is comparative in a meaningful way to the others. Health professionals and others with bio-survey experience learn that results obtained from the first bio-survey are valid and the most accurate.

In order to receive the most accurate results on subsequent scans you need to wait at least three days before scanning a person a second time. Your average client should be scanned about once every few weeks although many users prefer once per month.

Why would you have to wait? How can this device be both accurate yet have results that are not replicable? We expect repeatable measurements from real medical devices. The reason the Compass does not always yield repeatable results has to do with the fact that GSR does not measure "biomarkers", it measures skin conductivity. There is no reason a "first" reading will be more or less accurate than subsequent readings. There is no reason one would have to wait three days.

My analysis of this product is that it is a marketing tool. It is designed to sell people things by pretending to measure things it does not measure. I call bullshit. So does Stephen Barrett, by the way.

Additionally, the company (meaning the book I visited who used the Compass) also offers these sCAM (supplements, complementary and alternative medicine) services: Wellness coaching, Detox foot baths, Rife machine, colonics, aromatherapy, reflexology, custom blend essential oils and educational literature. They sell essential oils, vitamins, minerals, superfoods, Chinese herbs, homeopathics, natural soaps, household cleansers, shampoos, and dental care.

1. Semizzi M, Senna G, Crivellaro M, Rapacioli G, Passalacqua G, Canonica WG, Bellavite O A double-blind, placebo-controlled study on the diagnostic accuracy of an electrodermal test in allergic subjects. Clinical & Experimental Allergy 2002;32:928-932
   

Play Piercing

This is why acupuncture needles don't bother me in the least:

Play piercing is intense - acupuncture is wimpy (and ineffective). From back to front, these are 18 gauge, 20 gauge, 21 gauge and 23 gauge hypodermic needles. Despite initial kneejerk reactions, people who engage in play piercing are generally not mentally ill, nor is it an illegal or self-destructive activity. Check out the link I provided to get a better idea. The Wiki entry has this to say about it:

A play piercing, needle play, or recreational acupuncture is body piercing done for the purpose of enjoying the experience rather than producing a permanent body decoration. Needles, sharpened bones, or other tools used in play piercing are usually removed from the body when the episode is complete, allowing holes to heal over. Those who engage in play piercing may do so for self-expression, as a part of a ritual imitating mock tribal cultures, for the purpose of spiritual self-discovery, for sexual pleasure, for simple entertainment, raising awareness or relieving boredom.

Acupuncture needles are usually 36 gauge.

Faith billboard

A few days ago as I was driving home from my internship on highway 55 north, I spotted this:

At first, I wondered what exactly the billboard was trying to convey. It occurred to me that someone might be angry at Bevo church (Bevo is a St. Louis city neighborhood) and had decided to post this billboard in order to shame or boycott them, except that calling a church "liars" or "drunkards" is a clear case of libel (um, unless they are drunkards and liars, I guess). I suppose "enemies of god" could not be classified as libel – you'd have to prove god existed before you could prove someone was his enemy. Nonetheless, a boycott billboard is not out of the question, given that we have a local laborers union who boycotts a paving company who will not unionize with billboards commanding readers not to use the paving company.

On my way home, I came to the conclusion that the billboard was more than likely a publicity ploy by the Bevo church itself, though I was not sure exactly what it meant. Perhaps I would understand better if I were a Christian?

No matter, everything was cleared up once I went to the aforementioned website. On the website is a picture of the same billboard, but the word "drunkards" is crossed out in red and replaced with "lives of freedom" written in cursive. "Enemies" is crossed out and replaced with "sons & daughters". "Liars" is crossed out and replaced with "speakers of truth". Written above the "Church at be*vo" is the word "REDEFINED" as if stamped in place.

I think ones of the reasons I had so much trouble understanding this billboard is that I see a "church" as an organization of people who come together for community and religious services. I wonder if Christians think of "church" more directly as the people who are members of the church, in the same way I might think of a "class" at a university. Obviously, the point is that people come to Bevo with all of these sins that define them, and they are supposed to be redefined in terms of their relationship to their god.

Flimsy and I clearly need to infiltrate this church.

Focus on the Family Magazine

If you ever want some good bathroom reading material, check this out: You can sign up for the Focus on the Family Magazine for free.

I did. Expect blog posts on the content of the magazine in the future.

We've broken the 20,000 mark

I just thought I would let you guys know that last month, this blog generated 20,222 visits. That’s almost twice what it was last month. Where are all of you people coming from?

You guys are awesome! Thanks for reading – it really strokes my cute little girlish ego to know that so many eyes are on our snarky attempts at intellectualism.

So I want to know: who are you and why do you read this blog? Are you an atheist, theist, deist, other?

Because and Since strike again!

Believe it or not, I actually have a life of some kind outside of this blog. Woa!

For those of you who don’t know, I am most of the way through earning a doctoral degree in occupational therapy with an emphasis on research methodology and biomechanics. My undergraduate degree is in philosophy, and I’m sure you’re surprised about that.

Since May I have been working in a biomechanics lab, largely doing nothing. I did, however, send my research paper off to the Archives of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation for peer review and possible publication.

About a month after I sent the article off, I got it back with an attached 10 pages of comments. The peer reviewers were fairly pleasant in their comments and seemed genuinely interested in the research and in having it published, so if all goes well, I will let everyone know. Part of the rules of the journal is that I do not release my findings to the public until they approve of the publication.

In case you’ve never written a research article before, note that it is an arduous process. I probably have a total of 50+ drafts. My co-author is my mentor and run the lab, so I would write a draft, send it to him, and then he would make comments and send it back. Then I would edit the draft per his comments, send it to him, and he would make more comments and send it back, ad infinitum.

One of the most amusing aspects of this process concerns the words, “since” and “because”.

Initially, I had several sentences beginning with the word “because” and a few sentences began with, “Given that…”. After sending a draft off, I noticed that the draft was returned to me with all of the occurrences of “because” and “Given that…” changed to, “since”. I shrugged, approved of the changes and moved on – there is no sense in quibbling over details. I finished editing the draft and sent it back.

My mentor returned the draft to me, whereupon I had noted that all of the occurrences of “since” had been changed back to “because”. My mentor had also changed a sentence that did not begin with “because” around so that it did. Once again, I shrugged and made more important changes. I sent the draft off.

You probably know where this is going…

My mentor returned the draft to me again, and all the instances of “because” had been changed to “since”… AGAIN.

At this point, I sent off the draft to my friend Saint Gasoline. After that, I told my mentor that Saint Gasoline probably got the usage right, given that he works as a copy editor.

Pie god

I’m reading the book Why God Won’t go Away: Brain Science & the Biology of Belief by Andrew Newberg, and I came across a fun passage:

Imagine, for instance, that you are the subject of a brain imaging study. As part of this study, you have been asked to eat a generous slice of homemade pie. As you enjoy the pie, the brain scans capture images of the neurological activity in the carious processing areas of the brain where input from your senses is being turned into specific neural perceptions that add up to the experiences of eating the pie: olfactory areas register the delightful aroma of apples and cinnamon, visual areas perceive the sight of the golden brown crust, centers of touch perceive the complex mix of crunchy and gooey textures, and rich, sweet, satisfying flavors are processed in the areas responsible for taste. The SPECT brain scan would show all this activity in the same way that it revealed the brain activity of the Buddhists and the nuns, as blotches of bright colors on the scanner’s computer screen. In a literal sense, the experience of eating the pie is all in your mind, but that doesn’t mean the pie is not real, or that it is not delicious.

Similarly, tracing spiritual experience to neurological behavior does not disprove its realness. If God does exist, for example, and if He appeared to you in some incarnation, you would have no way of experiencing His presence, except as part of a neurologically generated rendition of reality.

Clearly, in this situation the pie is the cause of the neurological activity. We know this because we can observe the pie and the causal relationship between pie and neuron firing.

I don’t have any reason to think neural imaging can disprove god, but it can prove that spiritual or mystical experiences can be created by the mind itself. Pie is unnecessary. Thus, neurology disprives the idea that something must exist outside the mind for it to have and effect on the mind.

mocky mocky

My friends and I on another message board were discussing the movie "Saved!", and someone said this:

I guess that the reason I find Saved! offensive to Christians isn't so much the content as such. It's more the fact that they felt it was OK to make a film like that about Christianity but they'd never get away with it if they'd focused on Hindus, Jews, Muslims etc. I just get fed up with it being OK to criticize Christians because supposedly we're not a minority group but any other religion and it's offensive to criticize a minority group and therefore not allowed. I just think the same rules should be applied to all groups.

 What do you guys think?

bent moral compass

If you’ve been reading this blog for very long, you’ll know that I have used the argument that the claim that the Christian god does not care about works and only cares about faith could lead to devastating consequences.

Ray Comfort (If you’re new to this blog, we reviewed his entire book over a period of several months here) and some other Christians assert that good works are entirely useless and merely an attempt to bribe the judge of the universe.  I have argued that this could lead to individuals rationalizing their immoral behavior. An individual could come to the conclusion that it is okay to behave immorally, so long as they have the appropriate faith in Jesus.

For those of you who might consider claiming that no one would ever think like this: you are wrong.

Last night, George Sodini shot and killed 3 people and himself in an LA fitness center. Here is what he said in his online journal:

August 3, 2009: I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow to practice my routine and make sure it is well polished. I need to work out every detail, there is only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful. I haven't had a drink since Friday at about 2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day. 

Unfortunately I talked to my neighbor today, who is very positive and upbeat. I need to remain focused and absorbed COMPLETELY. Last time I tried this, in January, I chickened out. Lets see how this new approach works. 

Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge but that does not matter. I was reading the Bible and The Integrity of God beginning yesterday, because soon I will see them. 

I will try not to add anymore entries because this computer clicking distracts me.

Why would we teach people that morality is irrelevant? This man took the lives of several people and himself, believing that this life is only a stepping stone on the way to eternity. He believed he could kill people because of the teaching that eternal life does not depend on works. When people lose the only life they have due to twisted religious teachings, I feel such sadness.

We're back from Vegas!

Hi everyone!

After my nearly week and a half-long blog hiatus, I am seriously behind! I had absolutely no free time to write during my trip to Vegas for TAM7 – I might have had time if I were able to write in the car, but doing to makes me carsick.

TAM7 was fun – I got to meet a lot of new and interesting people. I didn’t feel particularly enlightened by the speakers and panels, but that’s okay – I am rather entrenched in the skeptical movement, so I am not surprised that there was nothing particularly new to hear about. We've got a few entertaining stories from the after-party, such as Saint Gasoline being constantly reminded of his knife-fucking ways, me tying people up with some bondage rope and running into an internet friend in passing. We also have a few entertaining stories from the road - staying in the worst motel ever and passing by the "Jesus Christ is Lord... Not a swear word" truck stop.

I quite enjoyed a performance of the “Nigerian Spam Scam Scam” in which Dean Cameron receives a Nigerian 411 scam email and corresponds with the scammer for over a year. The performance is a reading of the correspondences.

Michael Shermer had some interesting things to say about politics which Flimsy will cover in more detail – politics are his thing more than they are mine. We will also return to our regular deconstructing of Mere Christianity and silly journal articles.

Atheist vegetarians

 I completely understand why people have ethical or moral reasons for vegetarian. Personally, I’ll put anything into my mouth, as long as someone, somewhere has considered it food.

It seems to me that high concentrations of atheists are also vegetarian.

When Flimsy was single, his mother used to tell him things like, “You’d better not wear so much black. You’ll attract the wrong kind of girl”. By wrong kind, she meant atheist, with tattoos and piercings, and vegetarian.

I had to tell his mother no less than five times over the course of the first six months we were dating that; in fact, I love to eat dead animals.

I’d really like to know the percentage of atheists who are vegetarian. Are you? Why or why not? Should we be?

A Moment of Clarity/Obfuscation

Hi, all.  Flimsyman here.  Something weird happened to me the other day.  Right next door to my office, there lives a little, shriveled old lady with a tiny little business, run right out of her home, as a psychic.  Ever seen those huge signs shaped like a human hand, with moons and stars at the fingertips?  Yeah.

What's the most stereotypical "good deed" you can think of?  Well, the other day, she sees me behind the office and flags me down.  I go over to see what she needs, and she says that she needs someone young and strong, with good eyesight, to, I shit you not, help her cross the street.  I go ahead and take my break from work and take her arm.  We get across the street to her bank.  There was some problem with her account (Aww, psychic business not doing so hot?  To bad . . .), so it takes her almost twenty minutes to get back to me, and we cross back to her house.  The whole time, she's friendly as can be.  At one point, at the teller's window, she turned around and waved at me, winking and pointing at the young woman working behind the counter.  The teller gave her a quizzical look, and psychic lady said that she was just trying to help out that young man who was such a good boy as to help her across the street, and she should really go talk to me, etc.

Well, we got back to her house, and she pulls out her wallet, asking how much she owes me.  I tell her to put her wallet away; of course I'm not going to take her money.  So she says, "Oh, what a good young boy.  God bless you, young man.  God love you and I thank God that he sent you to help me . . ."

So I smile as warmly as I can, and gently reply, "Well, I actually don't believe in God; I just believe in doing the right thing and helping others.  It was my pleasure . . ."

It is not possible, so far as I am aware, to spell the word "HORROR" in ten-foot-tall neon, flashing letters with a facial expression, but she tried.  She looked as if I had said that I would feel bad taking her money because I only helped her across the street so that I could get close enough to rape her, and maybe her dog too.

She held that expression of utter shock for a good five-count, and the moment I opened my mouth to say something like, "Um . . . it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you . . .",  she turned and waddled into her house as rapidly as her frail legs could carry her.

I can only hope that after she reflects on the situation, she'll realize how utterly irrational it was to be afraid of me at that point.  How?  How on earth does a person's thought process lead them to such a conclusion?  Strangely, it's this sort of thing that keeps me from losing my temper with this sort of person.  Honestly, I have much more pity than anger.

*Sigh*

Meeting The Friendly Atheist

So this Saturday, Hemant Mehta (The Friendly Atheist) is going to be in St. Louis. We're organizing an atheist Meetup at an Italian Restaurant in the city.

If you live in or around St. Louis and want to join us for lunch, then go join the St. Louis Atheists Meetup Group and RSVP.

Of course, we were featured on his blog when we wrote this post after eating babies. We caused quite a stir.

My tiger bite story

So here's a bizarre bit of information about me.

About 5 years ago (Late November, 2004), I was bitten by a tiger.

Yes, I mean that completely literally. A tiger (panthera tigris) bit me.

Here's how it happened:

In Missouri, certain kinds of people or organizations can get wildlife permits. The obvious examples of course are zoos or wildlife sanctuaries. Sometimes, private citizens can get these permits, though I will admit I am shady on the details.

A friend of mine were hanging out conversing, when he mentioned on an offhanded sort of way that a friend of his owned a tiger. Surprised that he said this, I asked him to back up and tell me more. He told me that his friend and her husband happened to have this young female tiger in a sanctuary on their property.

I told him in a matter of fact way, that I wanted to pet this tiger. He looked at me, picked up his phone, and called his friend.

An hour later we were in her house: it was filled with furs, faux-tiger striped fur bedspreads, leather, etc. It was honestly kind of cheesy. Out back, there was a barn and a tall fence to keep the tiger in.

For some reason, the tiger (who was a little 150lb female juvenile) had no fur on her body – just some on her head. Apparently she had an allergy to something that had made her fur fall out. Apparently tigers have striped skin, as she was striped despite her lack of fur.

I went near the cage and the tiger jumped up, putting her paws on this divider in the door. She sniffed me. I petted her massive paws. She growled – not at me, but at the two large male friends of mine who had come with me. Apparently she was afraid of most men.

Her owners entered the cage and were applying baby oil to her skin, apparently to treat her allergy. The tiger was very restless and kept growling at the boys and pacing around, and once or twice it even leapt at the barn doors at them. They asked the boys to leave the barn, and they did. The tiger calmed down, they invited me in. I stepped into the cage.

The tiger sniffed me all over while I rubbed its head and took a few pictures. Its owners were letting the tiger play with them by sticking their arms in its mouth, just behind its canine teeth. I let it playfully but gently clamp its mouth around my arm, too. Its grip was strong but not painful.
The tiger slowly and thoroughly sniffed my legs while I gently touched it. When it got to my shoes, it very carefully closed its mouth over my shoe. This actually kind of hurt; it was like a vice slowly closing.

I knew that if I startled the tiger, things might turn out so well, so I continued petting it, and instead just remarked, very calmly, “Hey cat. You’re going to ruin my shoes.”

The tiger let go of my shoe, sniffed up my leg, and closed its mouth on my shin. Unlike when my arm was behind the canine teeth of the tiger’s mouth, this time I felt teeth sinking into my leg.
I didn’t freak out. Instead, I kept my hand on the tiger’s body, said, “Okay, you just bit me, we’re done petting”.  When she let go, I walked out.

We walked inside so that I could survey the damage. There was an obvious tiger-canine sized puncture wound in the back of my lower leg (through my calf muscle), and another wound on the front where the tiger’s teeth had crunched into my shin bone.

I wanted to know how deep this wound was so, after irrigating it, I cleaned my hands very thoroughly and carefully stuck my pinky into the wound. My pinky went in past the first knuckle and I felt bone.

I didn’t want these people to get in trouble – after all, it was my own damn fault that I had intentionally stepped into the cage with a live tiger, so we agreed that they would pay my medical bills, should I chose to go to the hospital.

I went home and like any good little scientist who thinks she does not have to stand on the shoulders of actual medical professionals to solve problems, looked up what to do in the case of severe puncture wounds inflicted by animals. I got conflicting advice, but the advice was generally to irrigate the wound and leave it open so it can heal from the inside out. I irrigated the wound some more in my bathroom – which hurt far more than the actual bite – covered it in a thick layer of gauze, and went to bed.

The next day I woke up with blood on my blanket, but I went to work. Once at work, I realized that I was an idiot. I could barely walk. I worked at a school, so I went to the school nurse. The school nurse remarked that she was probably the only school nurse to ever treat a tiger bite. She told me to go to the ER, which I did.

I told the ER docs that a dog had bitten me. They asked me to identify the dog, and I refused. They gave me some antibiotics and a fresh Tetanus shot and sent me on my way.

Unfortunately, I am apparently rather sensitive to strong antibiotics, as they made me sick. I made an appointment with my primary care doctor, told her that I had been bitten by a tiger, again refusing to give them any information to lead them to the tiger. The staff doctors and nurses all had to come take a look, and they actually had to consult a medical book to decide which would be the best antibiotic to treat a tiger bite – I think they settled on an antibiotic recommended for “cat bites”.

Thankfully, I actually had medical insurance. The whole ordeal cost me $40 for antibiotics.
This may sound bizarre, but though I can’t recommend being bitten by a tiger, the story is totally worth it.

Here are some lovely pics of the wound on the process of healing – all that’s left is a little, barely noticeable scar, but like other puncture wounds into muscle, you can press down on it and feel not muscle, but scar tissue and bone. Click the pics for a bigger version. I probably don't need to tell you that these pics are a little graphic.

Incidentally, if you look at the first picture (showing my foot), you'll notice a wound on the bottom of my foot. That was from stepping on something sharp. It happened the same day that the tiger bit me, so I almost wonder if it bit that leg because it smelled the fresh wound. I've got pictures of the tiger somewhere, but I can't find them!

A personal Thank You to Ray Comfort

This past week, Ray Comfort sent Flimsy and me a $25 gift certificate to Red Lobster, no strings attached. He also sent over a copy of The Atheist Bible and a signed copy of "You can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, But You Can't Make Him Think: Answers to Questions From Angry Skeptics - yeah, so now we've got two copies of this book.

Obviously, a thank you is in order - not only has Ray given me a wonderful springboard for blog posts, but he has now fed Flimsy and I - and you know how much atheists love food.

Ray and I completely disagree with each other theologically, and I am against a lot of the things he stands for. We've obviously come to completely different conclusions about the nature of morality and how the universe operates.  At the same time, It is clear that Ray sincerely believes what he preaches. He sincerely believes that his god is real, that we have souls, and does not want to see said souls spend an eternity in maximal punishment.

I'll echo something similar to something Penn Jilette said - if I sincerely believed that a meteorite were going to crush your house with you inside of it, I would do everything in my power to get you out of your house. I would not care if you believed a meteor were coming. I would not walk away because I felt it would disrespect your beliefs to drag you kicking and screaming out of your house. To leave you in your house and not bother to pull you out would make me a terrible person.

In a way, Ray and I are doing the same thing - we've come to a conclusion about the world, and we're acting on it because we sincerely care about those around us. Obviously, I have many reasons for thinking that my conclusion actually reflects the nature of reality.  My methodology is much better, but that's beside the point.

So, Ray Comfort - thank you. You care about us more than your god does.

commencement rituals

Last Friday I participated in my graduate school commencement ceremony. I can imagine that nearly all of my readers have participated in such a ceremony, but to refresh your memory, a commencement ceremony is a ritual in which individuals are recognized for completing some type of education such as high school or college (though I have seen commencement ceremonies for pre-school and grade school as well).

During the days prior to said ceremony, during the rehearsal for said ceremony, and during the actual ceremony itself, I couldn’t help but wonder at the purpose of this ritual.

For starters, each type of graduate had different (green) garb to wear: People graduating with Bachelor’s degrees wore gowns with simple sleeves. People graduating with Master’s degrees had slightly more elaborate sleeves. I was graduating with a doctoral degree, so my sleeves (and the sleeves of the other doctoral students) were especially poufy bell sleeves and had velvet black chevrons on them.  The sleeves are different, obviously, so that one can tell which degree one is earning by how complicated one’s sleeves are.

We (meaning the other OT graduates, all earning master or doctoral degrees) all wore floppy beanie hats, with tassels specifically on the left side, showing that we had already graduated from an institution of higher education and therefore were privileged to place the tassels on the left.

We were to be hooded with an elaborate hood made of satin and velvet, which we specifically had to hold on the left arm, with the skinny part lateral and the velvet part distal. Women were supposed to wear dresses, but I opted for pants. I’m such a rebel.

Each of the faculty members wore robes, the color of which designated exactly what kind of honors and degrees that had been awarded. Instead of movable green tassels, theirs were gold, shorter, and sewn on. We had a faculty member introduce a guest speaker, a student introduce the faculty speaker, and the dean introduce the student speaker, who all gave speeches about how great an honor it was to speak at the #1 occupational therapy university in the nation, how we all had to be open to new ideas, etc.

It was all very elaborate and pompous, a holdover from Celtic druids who wore increasingly elaborate capes and hoods to signify their superiority over others. In a graduation ceremony, individuals are separated from society by special garb, recognized as undergoing a transformation or indoctrination, and then returned to society. Graduation ceremonies also almost universally seek to dramatize individuals facing challenges or using their new skills to change the world while establishing that the ritual itself is sacred and valued.

I don’t particularly feel that anything is sacred, whether it be rituals or ideas. In a way, I fail to see the point of commencement ceremonies. To me, it is an exercise in ritualized self and group congratulation. It is also an occasion that appears on the surface to mark the end or beginning of a chapter in one’s life, but life is too complicated to mark it off in chapters.

Yet, part of me still enjoyed it. As I walked into the ornate Washington University church, past my family and the families of the people graduating with me, It was quite surreal – everyone was turned around in the pews, cameras steady or flashing, waiting for their loved one to appear. The student speaker gave a creative, layers-thick speech, and I was hooded by my mentor.

(click the picture for a clearer, larger version)

One interesting thing that occurred was that the guest speaker, when talking about being “open”, related a story of a child who was receiving therapy under her care. Said child was described as being as close to a “wild child” as one could get. The child was taken away from her family by social services, and placed in residential care, where the therapists worked to tame her wild nature. After some time, the parents regained custody of the child. Upon meeting the child again, the parents were upset – they did not like the change that had occurred in their child because they believed that their god made her the way she was for a reason, and so she should not be changed, because that would be denying their god’s will. The guest speaker indicated that she understood the parent’s wishes to leave their child unchanged.

I am not sure I agree that this is an example of appropriate openness. Of course, a lot of my opinion hinges on details that may have been left out, but I do not think children should be denied the potential they have for growth and contribution to society because of the religious views of their parents.

Amusingly, my younger sister had her commencement ceremony from college the day after mine, and I did not notice this until I went to hers: mine lacked the singing of the national anthem and an invocation – my ceremony made no appeals to nationalism or prayer, despite the fact that our ceremony was held in the main campus church. I’ve got to hand it to Wash U. for their commitment to evidence-based practice. When I entered graduate school, I was an atheist without the label. In that regard, I really was transformed. Their commitment to evidence strengthened my commitment to evidence.

penicillin allergy is more common than atheism

I've discovered that I am allergic to Penicillin!

A few months ago I had a cavity filled on my canine tooth (long story but my canine teeth didn't grow in on their own and so the orthodontist cut off the gums where my canines were hiding, put a bit of wire around them, and then used jeweler's chain to pull them down. So, near the top of my canine teeth, I had less enamel as that spot should have been covered by gums but wasn't. Hence, i got cavities there!)

So my canine tooth has developed an abscess, which is a lovely pus-filled lump above my canine tooth. Fun! The dentist prescribed Penicillin, which I did not think I was allergic to.

Symptoms were like this: tight throat, itchy eyes, dizziness, abdominal pain, and feeling unfocused or whacked out. Fun!

2.57% of people have a Penicillin allergy, depending on who you ask. Only 1.6% of Americans self-identify as atheist or agnostic according to the 2008 ARIS study.

So, Penicillin allergy is more common then self-identifying atheists/agnostics! 

Ziztur  - part of the statistical minority since 1982. Maybe I should try some homeopathic antibiotics!

Triad confabulations

So the other day when I wrote about the fact that I was once, not long ago, in a triad, commenter Ing asked:

On that note, I likewise don't know exactly how it would work. Not jealousy or anything or sex that I can easily see, but the more common social interactions; no coital inducing foreplay, cuddling, talking, dating the other stuff that couples do - I'm having trouble imagining with three people involved. Waking up before your partner is already a bit of a minor issue, do you wake them, stay in bed till they wake up...what's the time limit? Now imagine with two other people. Not that it wouldn't work I'm just having trouble imagining. If our lovely blog generator would be up to it I'd enjoy hearing some explanation/memoirs of the non-sexual aspects of the relationship.

Regarding sleep, waking up was pretty easy. Our ladymate was always up first, so she'd just get out of bed and do her morning stuff, leaving me and the Beau to snooze. We all got up when we pleased, and slept in when we pleased. I got used to this to the point that I would often wake up in our bed, alone. The Beau and I would often stay up late, or sometimes he would stay up late and we would fall asleep. the bed got a lot of use, and it was all our ladymate could do to keep it made.

For the first few months, we shared a queen-sized bed. While this was cute and lovey-dovey, we decided we needed a King. Whoever was in the middle usually got too hot. Flimsy and I share the king now, and I love the mattress real-estate.

I feel like we were open an honest with each other in ways I never imagined were possible - we were honest with our feelings, good or bad, and we talked a lot. We weren't afraid to express jealousy rather than hide it or attempt to squash it - instead, we acknowledged the bad and the good. Frequently. In fact, we probably did this too much, because instead of getting out an enjoying ourselves, we spent more days than we should have hashing out details of our relationship over pizza.

We took baths together, though if it was all three of us we had to take a shower. Our Ladyfriend did the laundry. Beau and I did the dishes and kept the bathroom clean. Our ladyfriend did more than her fair share of chores. They were vegetarian, and I was not, so I usually ate meat when we went out for dinner, but didn't eat meat in the house.

We gave each other space to have "two only time". I did this by hanging out with a friend of mine for an entire evening once a week, and she did the same by going to bed early. She and I felt we had plenty of time together and did not need to schedule it. The two of them went to China together (an arrangement made before I was in the picture, and could not be altered) and he and I went on a 2-day vacation to our favorite hiding place slash bed and breakfast.

Our lady friend's parents were open and accepting. My parents begrudgingly accepted. The Beau's parents knew somehow, even though he never told them. We all three held hands in public.

Lastly, my lady mate is The Beautiful Kind. The Beau has parted ways with the two of us.

She and I are still friends and occasional playmates, so there you have it - fodder for threesome fantasies. Three-way kissing was fun, we'd make a triangle with our mouths. Sex was creative - we would usually gang up, two pleasuring one. We all cuddled a lot - two, three, whatever. We went on dates - to movies, out dancing, to musical performances, whatever. When it worked, it worked pretty well. The Beau loved having two women, and us two women wanted to be #1 in someone's life and we could not get that with the triad. So, our triad ended after about 3.5 months or so.

Eros: candle shadows

For you new readers, whenever I have a post with "Eros" in the beginning of the title, that means I am about to talk about Sex.

S.E.X.

I hope you don't mind. If you do, (I.E., if you happen to be our parents, or just don't like hearing about sexcapades) feel free to skip this post.

Flimsy and were in the bathtub. In the dark, a single candle cast shadows on the wall. Water steamed up from the tub as we chatted. While we chatted, I ran my hands up and down his chest, or leaned over and deftly sucked his cock.

This is loads of fun for me, as he typically cannot concentrate on whatever he was saying, so his end of the conversation dissolves into squeaks or moans. Like so, "So anyway, I was thinking that we need to start going toaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......................"

I got out of the tub, dried off, and handed him the towel. He stood and began to dry off, still erect.

Bending over and placing my hands on the edge of the tub, I continued sucking.

During a pause he said, "Wow, that's really hot."

"What?" I said, looking up.

He motioned to the wall. "our shadows."

I turned, and saw that my body was sharply silhouetted on the wall. I grinned and continued.

Amused, we finished drying and I grabbed the candle, taking it to the bedroom.

There, on the wall, was my shadow again. I stood on the bed and danced a slow, sexy dance, moving my hips. He approached, but stood closer to the candle - as such, his cock looked about as big as my head.

We played around with this for about ten minutes, me commenting on his massive size, he pretending to force his giant shadow-cock down my throat, me pretending to jack his shadow off using both hands.

We were quite amused with ourselves.

The sun has circled earth 27 times since my birth

The earth has officially circled the sun 27 times since my mom told me to "get the fuck out of my womb, you parasitic little brat". (okay, she probably didn't REALLY say that...)

Happy oh-look-the-earth-has-circled-the-sun-27-times-how-interesting day- to me!

If birthdays were measured in mars circling the sun integrals then I would be 14.

Gay marriage and polyamory

I've noticed that often in gay-marriage debates, opponants of gay marriage use this (or similar) slippery slope argument:

If we allow gay people to get married, what's next? Letting Sarah and Mary and Josh all get married in a triad? Letting quads get married?

It is taken as self-evident that polyamorous marriages are bad without any explanation as to why. It's a slippery-slope argument with a conclusion that follows from an unstated premise.

Why is polyamory seen as so evil or deviant in society?

I'll let you in on a little secret. About a year ago, I, your faithful generator of blog posts, was in a triad. That's right - I was in a three-person relationship with myself, a guy and another woman. We lived together, slept together, fucked together, etc. Try as we might though, we could not make it work, so we split.

When I hear stories like this one...

Less than 18 months ago, Sasha Lessin and Janet Kira Lessin gathered before their friends near their home in Maui, and proclaimed their love for one another. Nothing unusual about that—Sasha, 68, and Janet, 55—were legally married in 2000. Rather, this public commitment ceremony was designed to also bind them to Shivaya, their new 60-something "husband." Says Sasha: “I want to walk down the street hand in hand in hand in hand and live together openly and proclaim our relationship. But also to have all those survivor and visitation rights and tax breaks and everything like that.”


Maine this week became the fifth state, and the fourth in New England, to legalize gay marriage, provoking yet another national debate about same-sex unions. The Lessins' advocacy group, the Maui-based World Polyamory Association, is pushing for the next frontier of less-traditional codified relationships. This community has even come up with a name for what the rest of the world generally would call a committed threesome: the "triad."

Unlike open marriages and the swinger days of the 1960s and 1970s, these unions are not about sex with multiple outside partners. Nor are they relationships where one person is involved with two others, who are not involved with each other, a la actress Tilda Swinton. That's closer to bigamy. Instead, triads—"triangular triads," to use precise polyamorous jargon—demand that all three parties have full relationships, including sexual, with each other. In the Lessins case, that can be varying pairs but, as Sasha, a psychologist, puts it, "Janet loves it when she gets a double decker." In a triad, there would be no doubt in Elizabeth Edwards’ mind whether her husband fathered a baby out of wedlock; she likely would have participated in it.

There are no statistics or studies out there, but according to Robyn Trask, the executive director of Loving More, a nonprofit organization in Loveland (yes, really), Colorado, dedicated to poly-education and support, about 25 percent of the estimated 50,000 self-identified polyamorists in the U.S. live together in semi-wedded bliss. A disproportionate number of them are baby boomers.

...I feel a ping of understanding.

After I told my mother that I was in the triad, she called me up one day and said, "what you're doing is just not right"

I asked her why.

"It's just wrong!"

I asked why.

"Because it's just not right."

I told her that her argument was circular, but if she came up with a real reason as to why I shouldn't be in a triad, I'd be glad to listen to her. She told me I should seek counseling and get back with my ex-boyfriend (in a non-triad sort of way).

Alas, our relationship was not meant to be, but I don't regret doing it. That chain of events led me to where I am now, and I am much happier for it.

What do you guys think of triad marriages, or marriages between more than two people?

We Fail and other random news

This past Sunday, Flimsy and I tried to go to Joyce Myers' Dream Center in St. Louis, but we got the address wrong and ended up on a residential street instead.

Myers is one of those "prosperity gospel" preachers, and is probably best known in the media for criticism of her lavish lifestyle -she owns several expensive homes and often travels around on her private jet plane. 

No worries, we'll hit it next week.

Also, I have to recommend that you wear shoes while you are outside cooking delicious food on your charcoal BBQ pit - I didn't, and I burned the bottoms of my feet with hot coals that had fallen out the bottom - I can sure be stupid sometimes! They were minor burns. I hate shoes and would much prefer to walk everywhere without them. Alas.

Just Life: presentations and pizza

Last Friday I gave my research presentation! All went well, and I have to say that I rocked everybody's socks right off.

Lots of presenters (other students) stood behind the podium and read notes, but I memorized key points and instead stood in front of the podium. My presentation therefore stood out amongst the rest. At the end of my presentation, I had this to say:

"Finally, I'd like everyone here to realize that science is rarely accomplished by individuals. As such, I'd like to thank my friends, colleagues, and family for all of their contributions"

It's true. Even this blog would be nothing without you, my dear reader. It would also be nothing without the crazy contributions other people have made. Judging from my prolific links, there are many people out there that have done more work than I have.

A fellow Wash U student who found my blog decided to come, which was awesome! He got to meet Flimsy and I. Afterwards, Flimsy and I hung out with some friends and ordered Black Thorn Pizza, which is the most delicious pizza I have ever tasted. Ever. Then we played games. It was the perfect way to celebrate.

Stopping to stim the furry

The other day I hung out with my friend Annie, who is both blind and has autism.

We had a freaking blast! Annie is awesome because she is:

1. reasonably intelligent
2. thinks atheists are just fine.
3. loves anything and everything fuzzy or soft.
4. Loves it when things are upside down
5. Sometimes has synasthesia - she sees sound.

We spent about 30 minutes at Lowes feeling dryer lint brushes, ceiling fan cleaners, carpets, rugs, fluffy dusters and curtains. When she especially likes something, she sticks her face in it. Then, we went to a CD store to listen to a bunch of music - her preference is metal. After that, we felt the rows and rows beads on strings at a craft store. It was kind of like stopping to smell the flowers, except we were stopping to stim on anything entertaining.

It was especially fun to hear her laugh and giggle at anything upside-down - her pill bottle, the lid for a hot fudge sundae, etc. She also told us that some numbers register as colors in her head - seven is blue, 3 is yellow, etc.

She wanted to know if atheists believed in souls or out of body experiences. Some do, but we don't.

Girls trapped in burning school ON PURPOSE

From the BBC (this is old, but I am using it to illustrate a point):

Saudi Arabia's religious police stopped schoolgirls from leaving a blazing building because they were not wearing correct Islamic dress, according to Saudi newspapers.

In a rare criticism of the kingdom's powerful "mutaween" police, the Saudi media has accused them of hindering attempts to save 15 girls who died in the fire on Monday.

About 800 pupils were inside the school in the holy city of Mecca when the tragedy occurred.

15 girls died in the blaze and more than 50 others were injured
According to the al-Eqtisadiah daily, firemen confronted police after they tried to keep the girls inside because they were not wearing the headscarves and abayas (black robes) required by the kingdom's strict interpretation of Islam.

One witness said he saw three policemen "beating young girls to prevent them from leaving the school because they were not wearing the abaya".

The Saudi Gazette quoted witnesses as saying that the police - known as the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice - had stopped men who tried to help the girls and warned "it is a sinful to approach them".

The father of one of the dead girls said that the school watchman even refused to open the gates to let the girls out.

"Lives could have been saved had they not been stopped by members of the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice," the newspaper concluded.

Relatives' anger

Families of the victims have been incensed over the deaths.

Most of the victims were crushed in a stampede as they tried to flee the blaze.

The school was locked at the time of the fire - a usual practice to ensure full segregation of the sexes.

The religious police are widely feared in Saudi Arabia. They roam the streets enforcing dress codes and sex segregation, and ensuring prayers are performed on time.

Those who refuse to obey their orders are often beaten and sometimes put in jail.

 Specifically, I am going to go out on a limb and assume that anyone who reads this thinks it is horrifyingly immoral to beat little girls back into a burning school because they are wearing incorrect clothing. I am going to assume this because most people think it is wrong for little girls to die for something so minor. It is wrong because the punishment (death by fire) far outweighs the crime (wearing incorrect clothing).

Some Christians I talk to say that disbelief in their god is such a terrible crime that for my disbelief, I deserve to spend an eternity in torment.

How is this different than someone in Islam saying that these children deserved to die for their crime of wearing incorrect clothes?

I realize that men trapping children in a burning building due to their choice of clothing is not quite the same as the Christian god sending me to hell for disbelief, but if someone from Islam said, "I think those girls deserved to die, because wearing the incorrect clothing really such a bad offense against my god that the punishment of death fits the sin", how would you argue with them? I'm honestly curious.

Meetups!

Since I pointed out the Skeptical Society of St. Louis yesterday, I figured I'd also point out that the St. Louis Atheists Meetup wins equally as much as the Skeptical Society.

No, I take that back - the Atheists Meetup wins more because we have like 4 meetings a month and 350 members.

If you live in St. Louis and are not a member of the St. Louis Atheists Meetup... well why the heck not?

Skeptical jewelry!

Flimsy and I are poor, but what we lack in cash we make up for with our brains and, apparently, our creativity.

We've decided that there is a serious lack of geeky, skeptical, atheist jewelry. So we've decided to make our own.

Here are our first few pieces:

 

Flimsy, wearing the necklace above:

One specifically for the doubting ladies (or guys who like pink abalone shell):

Here's one that's a little less subtle...

and one for a skeptic!

 

This is the first time I've ever really made jewelry, and I am hoping that someone out there will love this stuff enough to buy it from us and therefore help send us to TAM7! Right now they are one of a kind. I've got more design ideas in my head, these are just the ones I've made so far. I've also got a bunch of really thick brass blanks to make key chains. I already made one for my friend The Alien - it says, "Incredulous Spiritualist" on it.

I'm not sure exactly how much to charge. I was thinking somewhere between $10-$15.00 depending on what bits I use. What do you think?